Slurp up the free stuff

the title comes from the time my bro-sis from college went to ed debevic's in downtown chicago. he threw a fist full of straws across the table (per usual ed's rudeness) and told us to "slurp up the free stuff," meaning the water. i've never forgotten that quote. weird, the things i remember.

anyway, i've commandeered the title, ripped it from its context, all in an effort to broadcast to every frenzy regular that change is a-coming. soon, probably within the next week or so, i'll rearrange frenzy into more of a personal development blog. with that in mind, most of my previous posts will either be privately archived or deleted altogether. the private archives will remain online but unable to be viewed without my permission. if i delete it, however, it will be gone forever in order to clear space for new articles. so read up on the past manifestations of frenzy of cognition while they last!

my decision to go this direction stems from my desire to help people, honestly. i feel stepping out in this manner will help me accomplish that goal by providing both support and inspiration as well as an accountability tool and stimulus for growth. i'll post on my own progress with regards to my objectives, my thoughts on how to grow, lessons i've learned from life and friends and family and the wide swath of reading that i do. nothing is off limits as my mind touches nearly every subject imaginable. i predict it will be a fun and very challenging ride. i'm looking forward to it.

that said, my domain name will also be changing. i'm researching the most traffic-friendly name right now, trying to determine which moniker best upholds the purpose of the new blog as well as maximizes traffic potential. i'll post the name well in advance of actually changing it so as to prepare everyone. don't want you missing out on the good stuff.

that said, the clock has begun ticking. here's to re-invention!

The vegeterian diet has begun in earnest

friends,

i've been slowly acclimating myself to a vegeterian version of the south beach diet this past week, and by thursday i had pushed all meat out of my menu. saturday and sunday i managed to stay within the veg diet but cheated on the south beach side of things (within my allotted cheat provisions, of course). now i stand before you (just imagine it) with my fridge completely stocked full of fruit and greens, my daily lunches decoded, and my snacks as healthy as ever.

lunches were a killer for me to figure out as i tried everything from naked provolone cheese to guacomole dip to cheese spread on my sandwiches. i went the jimmy john's route and tried slapping multiple slice of provolone between whole grain wheat. that alone tasted bland, so next day i spread guacomole dip between them, topping it off with fat free mayo and tomatoes. the first few bites were okay. after that the sandwich went downhill fast.

next day i tried some cheese spread. the resulting taste made me nauseous the remainder of the afternoon, so much so i almost skipped small group. thursday i tried nothing but fruit all day, and come friday i'd concocted a low sugar, low fat pb&j sandwich that meets both south beach and the veg diet. besides tasting great, the sandwich is guilt free and also satiates my hunger. experimentation over.

already i've noticed a difference in energy level. from thursday on i haven't felt as tired later in the day, specifically after lunch when the "afternoon slough" kicks in. in fact, coming home friday night i was remarkably alert, thinking it was time for some action (redman, "time for sum akshion", whut? thee album, 1992). saturday and sunday were the same. even after my cheat snack (ice cream) i felt good. so far i like how this is transpiring.

my menu's a simple one, yet very tasty and filling. breakfast consists of three oranges (i have a large appetite). for snacks until lunch i have a handful of peanuts (lightly salted and dry roasted). lunch now consists of two low-fat, low-sugar pb&j. for the afternoon i pick through a small tupperware bowl of cantelope chunks. i have yet to nail down a rotation of dinners as this weekend consisted of south beach-appropriate pizza, but i'm working on it. i'll keep you updated.

so far, so good. i've also decided not to eat anything past 7:00 p.m. i've read in more than one place that eating too close to bedtime bogs down digestion and saps energy from the body while it's sleeping. hence, if you chow down before going to bed you'll wake up just as tired at 7 a.m. as you were at 11 p.m. so, last night i finished dinner at 6:30 and, despite a late-night hunger, refused to eat a bite until this morning. i'm happy to say that my experiment paid off: when i woke up i did so quickly and easily. i'll keep trying it out just to make sure it wasn't a fluke.

as i write this now i'm satisfied hunger-wise and feeling awake. all this without caffeine, too! how many people can say that???

i've begun exercising to dance dance revolution again. initially my goal was to dance for one hour and burn 600 calories (much like i did each day over christmas break). don't really have the time for such a superman goal right now, however, so i'm looking at 300 calories in half an hour, exactly one-half of my original goal. i did it yesterday and now have the momentum to push forward through infinity. i'll be tracking weight loss every friday (i.e., only jumping on the scale on fridays), and hopefully the combo of veg south beach and dance exercises will produce desirable results. i hope to integrate a strength training regimen three days a week. my room's clean now, so i have the space for those bodyweight exercises! i may have to let my schedule simmer down a little before i can determine the best time of day for strength training. either way, i'm glad to be exercising again.

here's to health and energy!

How to stop swearing

this assumes a) you WANT to stop swearing, and b) you feel you have a problem. in my humble opinion you fit one of three swear categories:

1. you swear very little or not at all. if so, great! you don't need this article.

2. you cuss like a marine on leave. public, private - it doesn't matter.

3. you swear in private settings, with those who might be inclined to swear with you. in public, however, colorful descriptors don't pass your lips, however tempted you might be in certain situations to let one fly.

my solution is a simple one, and it encapsulates the same principle that supports any high-context language. dream with me for a moment back to the days of high school and/or college, when you and your friends all had signature sayings, little phrases and quotes you'd repeat ad nauseum to your never-ending delight. you'd spill these sayings so much they became almost second nature, an ingrained habit. a situation would arise and someone would instinctively blurt out the group's beloved cliché. an example:

my friends and i, after one fateful trip to pittsburgh for a concert, would repeatedly yell, "the bus! the bus!" we weren't talking about jerome bettis, either. having taken one of our many wrong turns that night, we proceeded around a bend only to be greeted by a public bus gaining speed in our direction. problem was we were in the bus' lane, attempting to cut across traffic to take a shortcut. it should've worked, too, except for that bus. everything occurred in a split second, and upon seeing the bus one of my friends yelled out, "the bus! the bus!" after we threw the wheel and got our car back into the right lane, we waited for our hearts to resume normal beating and then broke out in hysterical fits of laughter. doesn't sound funny now, but it was, trust me; you had to be there. anyway, this was second semester senior year for me, and the remainder of my high school experience was filled with "the bus! the bus!" we all knew when to say it, laughed when we did, and it became part of our group vocabulary. even well into my first two years of college my friends and i still quoted that line. that speaks to the power of repetition turning into habit.

but the real lesson for me came only six months after becoming a christian. i had been swearing prior to my conversion, and while i wasn't a big league blue streaker i did have a well-crafted lexicon of profanity on reserve for all the right moments (keep in mind this was when i was still imitating all my favorite rappers, too). after becoming saved, however, i found a trick that worked at subverting the habit of swearing which i'd ingrained in myself via all the attention and copious amounts of repetition i'd given it over the years.

put simply, i "practiced" saying the euphemisms that i wished would replace the swear words, doing so in the moments when my head was clear and i hadn't been blinded by anger. so, while watching tv, flipping channels, i would remember my goal of not swearing. i then "practiced" by saying, "fudge." just like that. i wasn't upset, wasn't throwing things or in the middle of a cuss-inducing situation. instead i was calm and relaxed, training myself to reach my goal.

reminders of my goal struck often (as they did with me and my overactive brain; still do!). in the shower? "fudge!" reading a book? "fudge!" raking leaves? "fudge, fudge, fudge!" before you think fudge became my universal swear replacement, i practiced others such as "shoot", "darnit", "gosh", and "heck". yes, i said "gosh" long before napoleon.

the practice, suffice to say, paid off. from the moment of my conversion until i said "damn" my sophomore year (i got saved before freshman year), i didn't utter a single swear word. my next streak extended even longer, from my "damn" sophomore year all the way to when i repeated that same word at basic training between junior and senior years. from my "damn" basic training i didn't swear again until junior year of college (unless you count "pissed" as a swear word). and on, and on, and on. in fact, the only thing that reversed my training was a conscious, deliberate decision to swear during the last semester of college. now i resemble #3 above.

the thing that makes this work is exactly what kept my friends and i repeating "the bus" for years: we said it even when we didn't have to, bringing it up at every possible turn. by practicing your euphemisms you can do the same thing with swearing, thereby making euphemisms the habit instead.

don't get me wrong: i believe swearing in and of itself is okay. public swearing i forbid as a general rule; private is another matter. but if you're struggling with getting your tongue under control and you want to banish it from your vocab, then "training" yourself is the way to go. the bible even supports the notion of training one's self for righteousness, so if you'd like to stop swearing for spiritual reasons then this technique will help you accordingly. or if you're a regular potty mouth and just want to curb it, this technique will help you, too. you may feel silly "practicing" (i know i did), but the gains you make by disciplining yourself will be worth it. i know because i've been there.

just pick your euphemisms. then, anytime you think of your goal, let 'er rip!

here's to cleaning our mouths!

Let your gut hang out

let me be the first to admit it: i have a gut.

not a huge one. not a morbidly obese one. not the kind that enters rooms before me or others pat for good luck. it's not that bad. yet i don't have a washboard, either. it's the kind of gut you get when you don't do anything to exercise your abs. it's just a gut.

yet ever since i was a kid i've always sucked it in. in the army they tell you in no uncertain terms that your stomach is not to protrude past your belt. shoulders back, head up, back straight, suck in your gut. that's the coda, and while i didn't have nearly the bulge as a youngster that i have now, i nonetheless have always sucked in what i had.

in the past month or so, in the midst of considering new diet schemes and exercise routines, i decided that i've been getting by. i've been comfortable with NOT working out and NOT staying 100% true to my food plans. i know, i know: chris, you must ask yourself, "why am i doing what i'm doing?" already asked, already acted upon. and as good a question as that is (see yesterday's post), it's not my point today. my point here is that i finally uncovered one of the reasons why i've been able to get by without a workout structure. it makes sense when you think about it, the kind of smoke-and-mirrors trap that kept me from having to get off the couch and do some cardio. in short: i've been sucking in my gut, and it's helped me to NOT see how out of shape i am.

ponder that for a second: i have this gut that, while not the talk of the town, shows just how badly i need to slim up. furthermore, my gut is not the talk of the town because nobody SEES it since i'm sucking it in all the time. what effect does this have but that when i'm in public and look at myself i see a reasonably fit-looking young man whose clothes fit him well. i get by looking average (oh, how i hate to admit this!) while not looking extremely overweight. everybody's happy!

but what if i let it all hang out? what if, while alone in my apartment, i expelled my breath and out popped my stomach? okay, so i may be able to live for a while without exercising, but the urge to rid from my sight this undesirable figure would eventually compel me to work-out. now consider what would happen if i showed my gut in public? what then? something tells me my first encounter outside with my "overweightness" exposed would almost immediately push me to start exercising. how many times do i want to go through the feeling of being embarrassed at how out-of-shape i've become? if i was someone who didn't care about health or didn't take pride in my appearance, then i would merely flip off the world and tell them to deal with their own guts. as it is, however, i'm interested in getting fit and keeping myself fit. thus, for me one or two times in public would be all it took.

about now some of you may be saying, "great, chris, but what's the point here? that i shouldn't suck in my gut?"

while your gut may be part of my gist, my overall idea is this: in life we all have "guts" which we're sucking in that prevent us from facing the truth of our situations and the ensuing consequences. perhaps you, too, have a real gut you're hiding just to get by in public. you don't like the looks of it in your bathroom mirror, you see it when you look down, think about it while on the scale, etc., etc. but a gut doesn't have to be physical. it can be any number of things in our lives which we're not adequately confronting and therefore keeping ourselves from being pushed to action.

another example: you're in a job that pays enough to satisfy the bills and some spending money on the side. you've got cable tv, car and insurance, enough food to be well-fed, enough in the bank to eat out once or twice a week, pick up a new shirt here or there - everything's covered. the job itself is okay, you know you don't want it as a career or anything but it's good enough for now. you punch in, take an hour lunch, leave on time pretty much every day, go home, watch Simpsons and go about your free time. sounds good, right?

it would be were it not for this sentence: "the job itself is okay, you know you don't want it as a career or anything but it's good enough for now." this, my friends, means you have a gut, one you're sucking in and not facing head-on. the money you receive numbs you to the reality that no matter how much dough this position shells out you'll still not be as happy as you would be elsewhere. you might be aware that this is merely a temporary thing, but the money makes you comfortable enough to not seek out the "permanent thing" just yet. what to do?

before i get there, one more scenario: you've got a circle of friends you enjoy hanging with. co-ed, not too big but not too small, when you're together you have fun and keep one another company. you know were it not for this group of people you'd probably do nothing circa thursday through saturday. but you have them, they have you, and occasionally there's drama but you decide that every group's like that and so there's nothing to worry about. seems peachy, right?

again, the trouble sentence: "you know were it not for this group of people you'd probably do nothing circa thursday through saturday." you are getting by, period. you don't really have as extensive a network of friends as you'd like, and it's evidenced by this statement. you're comfortable in this position because you have enough fun and get along with these people enough to have something to do at those times of the week when it really counts. your situation has enabled you to not take action, not reach out and make new friends or get to know other people. you'd like to meet new people, do different things, go to new places with them, but as long as you're busy on the weekend then you're not really allowed to think about it too much, are you? what to do?

the answer, quite simply and honestly, to the above two scenarios as well as any other imaginable situation is this: let your gut hang out. sounds simple, right? you're right: it is simple, but it's not easy. let's check out the solutions to the three snapshots i just gave you (weight loss, job, and friends).

(1) weight loss. you already know the answer to this one, remember? let your gut hang out, then move around in public with friends and family members. with strangers. with that cute guy or girl you just met last week through a friend. go on, let it all hang out. better yet, dock yourself one dress size, make that medium shirt a small, slip it on over your gut and wave to everybody you know. pants? same thing. take your size 32 (like me, wink, wink) and kick it down to a 28 or 26. outside of the fact that you'll barely be able to breathe, you'll see just how far from your desired self-image you really are. then maybe you'd get to exercising. at least not go out in public for a while, right?

(2) job. let your gut hang out. admit to yourself that you make enough money to live but that "just living" doesn't cut it anymore. take your extra money and funnel it into a savings account, one whose sole purpose is to get you to grad school, or starting your own business, or moving to the city where you can get the job of your dreams. money is the gut you keep sucking in and it numbs you to your lack of progress, so use that very thing to advance yourself. take it away and let yourself see that your paycheck is the smokescreen that keeps you from facing down your true wants and desires. a strict budget will help you see the TRUE predicament you're in. let your gut hang out, then put it to work for you.

(3) friends. let your gut hang out. face the truth about your circumstances, your feelings of loneliness, your boredom, your sense of obligation to your current group - whatever it is that keeps you from expanding your network. try planning a different activity for yourself for next friday night, something not involving your current circle. try branching out by joining a club or digging deeper in your church or whatever other opportunities exist amongst your current resources. then when a friend from your current circle calls to hang out tell them you're not available. you may not have found anyone else to hang with; in fact, you may be having a friday night alone, a situation which is anathema to most singles. but you're letting your gut hang out, seeing how small your network really is compared to what you wish you had. one or two friday nights on your own will motivate you to grow your contact list to what it should be.

many more examples exist to which this "gut" principle can be applied, but the point in each one is the same: find what's allowing you to be comfortable, remove it to catch a glimpse into how disagreeable your situation truly is, then use it to better your life. i, for one, will be walking around with my gut hanging out, not hiding the true state of my physical condition, but more importantly i'm not hiding it from myself, thereby confronting myself with it constantly all the while strengthening my impetus for change. it can be a powerful tool in our efforts to de-sheep ourselves, but only if we let it.

here's to guts hanging out everywhere!

I just wanna' be a sheep...bah...bah!

how do i start off this post?

most people are sheep. most people do what others tell them, obey the tenets of polite society, accept the fads and the prefabricated truth, the untruth, hearsay and rumor, and most people don't think too deeply about too many things.

i know quite a few people who, upon hearing of my decision to go veg, would look at me like i just insulted their mother. "chris," they might say, "why over-think this? just go with the food pyramid and you'll be okay!" (believe it or not, i actually had someone say this to me a few years back.) i can try explaining that i'm interested in the energy and weight loss benefits, if indeed they exist for this diet. i can also explain that i would be testing it out, not drawing a contract with myself in stone, but for a lot of people this wouldn't be enough. they simply couldn't/wouldn't understand why i might want to try something like this.

what i don't understand, conversely, is how people can just keep eating what they've always been eating, never questioning what they put into their bodies. do they ever think that the fat stack of carbs they eat every week quite possibly contributes to their health in disagreeable ways? do they ever think of experimenting and trying a new diet to see if they feel better, move better, drop weight, have more energy, etc.? why are they content to just float through life eating what they've always eaten precisely because it's what they always ate??? i don't get it, admittedly.

i'll be the first to admit that i have been sheep-like in many behaviors for a good chunk of my life, my diet being just one of them. in the past two years, however, i've come to realize just how little we question the things around us, ideas and people and manners and customs and norms and standards and the like. concurrent with this realization has run a string of questions that i posited to myself on why i was doing certain things.

why was i accepting the premise that only the elite could lead metro 212? why did i accept the notion that i shouldn't speak up on my own behalf and thereby rock the boat, even with the little things (a trademark of polite society)? why did i accept the fact that i had to be "nice" to be good? why did i accept the idea that i had to throw flowers at the feet of every woman in whom i took an interest, all in the hopes of reciprocity? why did i accept the idea that i couldn't tout my successes? why did i accept the idea that it was somehow wrong of me to make absolute moral statements? why did i accept my diet just because most people ate like i did? why did i accept rude and inconsiderate companions just because i thought it was better to have friends and be diplomatic than not have any friends at all? why, why, why?

because i had morphed into a sheep. when i awoke to this fact i set about trying to sprint as far away from that role as possible. the saddest thing, however, was finding that most of the people around me qualify as sheep, too, and that sheep don't like non-sheep. sheep only want other sheep, and together they want to designate their shepherd.

not all sheep look alike, however. some make louder noises than others, some chew grass away from the herd, some have wool dingier than the rest, but in the end they're indistinguishable where it really counts. two saturdays ago i left church to go to the mall for some time of reflection and prayer. while i sat ruminating on the direction my life needs to take, i couldn't help but be overcome with the notion that the mall had filled with people who were simply going through the motions, feeling powerless to stop the momentum their lives had gained, headed in directions they never wanted to go and solidly apathetic in attempting to wrest themselves free from their slog. how many passed before me who barely lived with any signs of life or individuality? how many got up that morning and proceeded to act out their day like a script handed to them days and months and years ago? how many were living like true individuals, setting their own course and achieving their dreams irrespective of society? very few, i can tell you that.

this is in no way meant to negate the worth of the individual. quite to the contrary, the truth i'm trying to advance is that we all have the capability to break from our sheepish patterns and live a life full of joy and passion and witness the manifestation of our deepest dreams. we all have it, sitting right inside us, but most days close with nary a scratch of that potential lived out. and the more i think on it, the more i ache for people to find the answers and break from their slumber.

how can we go from sheep to leader? from sheep to individual? from sheep to fully living? i'll explore this further in subsequent posts, going deep into the ideas and techniques that can help us live richer and fuller. but for now, i leave you with two questions: (1) why are you doing what you're doing? i don't just mean job here, either. when we think about the "what are you going to DO with your life" question we tend to think of it only in terms of career. again, that's the sheep mentality. someone a long time ago told you to think of purpose and meaning through the filter of how you manage your career. this is one facet, but only one facet, and by no means the biggest. so i'm asking you now to sidestep the old, recycled, herd way of thought and to think anew, only instead of asking "what" you're asking "why?"

for example: why do you eat what you eat? what if a diet existed that could help you feel better? have more energy? lose the weight you know you'd like to lose? what if it didn't mean eating shrubs and drinking water and starving yourself between meals? would you go for it? or would you succumb to the rationale that says the status quo is just fine, so keep on keeping on?

why do you spend your free time like you do? what if you could lead a more fulfilling life by turning off The Simpsons, getting off the couch, and taking up a hobby? what if you could better yourself by reading up on a subject that's always interested you instead of playing video games after work? or, conversely, what if you slowed down a little and gave yourself some play time? what if something existed for you, much slower and lower maintenance, that would help you unwind and relax and recharge for all the goals you've set before yourself?

the opportunities are unlimited, but we cannot wait for them to just come to us out of the blue. a life spent waiting for betterment to knock on our door unprovoked is a life spent doing nothing. you may get lucky and have a revelation some day on your own wherein you see how you can adjust your life for the better, but think of all the other chances you miss by a lack of persistent pursuit. one turning point out of hundreds and thousands of potential turning points makes for a very poor batting average.

so ask yourself right now, where you're seated, "why am i doing what i'm doing?" apply it throughout your day to as many things as you can, and if you don't know why you're currently engaged in a certain pattern of behavior, or if you don't like that pattern, then you need to ask the following question...

(2) is there something i can change with this behavior that can grow me as a person? if you alter your diet so that it provides more energy to you, and that energy can then be used to reach more of your goals, would you be willing to take the courageous step of changing? if leaving your profession would open new, more fulfilling opportunities in another field, would you take the reins? or would you fold and decide to stay put, deeming change too uncomfortable or too risky? how will you act once you know the "why" of your current situation?

once you ask "why am i doing what i'm doing" and get to the root of your life as it is right now, and after you evaluate your answers and attempt an upgrade by pondering the "what can i change to grow as a person" question, then you must decide one of two things: A) are you comfortable following others, doing what you've always done in the many areas of your life, hoping to grow occasionally and by random chance and the pressure of outside events? or B) does the pain of missing opportunities seem to outweigh the comfort of doing nothing? if so, a clear path lies in front of you and a decision to change has become evident.

perhaps you're in a good spot right now, be it your job or your relationships or your health, etc. if you like the answers you get from the first question, if they're what you want, if you feel you can do no better and are currently operating at peak efficiency in the many aspects of your life, then keep doing what you're doing. don't stop now. if, on the other hand, you sense even the slightest room for improvement, why not go for it? why not upgrade yourself, break from the current routine, make yourself stand out from the herd?

why not live to your fullest potential?

here's to today, and getting a new start to make a new you.

Using your brain for once

I read an article recently that discussed intelligent risk-taking. The author, whom I read frequently, addressed two types of risks: The "dumb" kind, wherein your expected outcome is negative and your potential upside is limited (gambling is one example); and the "intelligent" kind, where your expected outcome is positive and your potential downside is limited.

An example of intelligent risk-taking hits close to home for me right now as I'm applying to grad school. It will cost me $50.00 and consume roughly 8 hours to complete my application (this includes writing sample, getting reference recommendations, etc.). My expected outcome is that I will get accepted into grad school and thus have the tools to further my career. The downside is limited in that if I don't get accepted into this particular grad school I can either apply again later OR shift gears and apply elsewhere. In other words, 8 hours of my time and $50.00 is a damn good investment now for all the good it might do me later. And the worst-case scenario? I'm not accepted, which loses me $50.00 at the most yet still affords me the opportunity to try again. Not a bad deal, eh? Now a dumb risk would be NOT applying to grad school, as my expected outcome would be success minus the training with the huge downside that I may never get off the ground. Put in these terms, the risk of applying greatly outweighs that of sitting still.

Another example of intelligent risk-taking is asking someone on a date. The potential upside? That you meet the right person and live happily ever after. The downside? She says no, and you're no further back than where you started. You used a few minutes of your time to ask, and for the potential payoff a few minutes is, again, a very good deal.

I've said all that to say this: Sarah and I decided a while back to end our dating relationship. Some of you reading don't know about this yet, but you've been asking. There's your answer! But in not dating we knew we wanted to stay friends. We've been through a lot and still want the support we can get from each other as good friends. It's not necessarily been easy for either of us, but we both believed it to be the right thing. I can honestly say from where I sit that I'm glad we made the decision and have stuck to it.

Yet we catch all kinds of flack from people who don't understand our decision and think we shouldn't hang out anymore. You'd think people would be okay with it if you're okay with it, but not so much. People make it their business to dig into your business and tell you what they think. Hey, people: We never asked! Unfortunately, Sarah's received the brunt of the questions, mostly from girls, and they drill her about it. We thought it would stop after Christmas, once everyone was away for the holidays and had put their minds on other things.