Using your brain for once

I read an article recently that discussed intelligent risk-taking. The author, whom I read frequently, addressed two types of risks: The "dumb" kind, wherein your expected outcome is negative and your potential upside is limited (gambling is one example); and the "intelligent" kind, where your expected outcome is positive and your potential downside is limited.

An example of intelligent risk-taking hits close to home for me right now as I'm applying to grad school. It will cost me $50.00 and consume roughly 8 hours to complete my application (this includes writing sample, getting reference recommendations, etc.). My expected outcome is that I will get accepted into grad school and thus have the tools to further my career. The downside is limited in that if I don't get accepted into this particular grad school I can either apply again later OR shift gears and apply elsewhere. In other words, 8 hours of my time and $50.00 is a damn good investment now for all the good it might do me later. And the worst-case scenario? I'm not accepted, which loses me $50.00 at the most yet still affords me the opportunity to try again. Not a bad deal, eh? Now a dumb risk would be NOT applying to grad school, as my expected outcome would be success minus the training with the huge downside that I may never get off the ground. Put in these terms, the risk of applying greatly outweighs that of sitting still.

Another example of intelligent risk-taking is asking someone on a date. The potential upside? That you meet the right person and live happily ever after. The downside? She says no, and you're no further back than where you started. You used a few minutes of your time to ask, and for the potential payoff a few minutes is, again, a very good deal.

I've said all that to say this: Sarah and I decided a while back to end our dating relationship. Some of you reading don't know about this yet, but you've been asking. There's your answer! But in not dating we knew we wanted to stay friends. We've been through a lot and still want the support we can get from each other as good friends. It's not necessarily been easy for either of us, but we both believed it to be the right thing. I can honestly say from where I sit that I'm glad we made the decision and have stuck to it.

Yet we catch all kinds of flack from people who don't understand our decision and think we shouldn't hang out anymore. You'd think people would be okay with it if you're okay with it, but not so much. People make it their business to dig into your business and tell you what they think. Hey, people: We never asked! Unfortunately, Sarah's received the brunt of the questions, mostly from girls, and they drill her about it. We thought it would stop after Christmas, once everyone was away for the holidays and had put their minds on other things.